literature

six days, seven hours.

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xradxhugsx's avatar
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Literature Text

MONDAY.
the rain is drilling holes into my head and the grass is screaming from the weight of the world on its shoulders. i can't seem to sleep nor do i deserve it, seeing as how i've kept you up for the past three nights straight, wondering if i'll even be able to answer your call in the morning. i've made you promises, and you've made me promises, but promises don't mean shit when the only thing keeping my head above water is a noose.

TUESDAY.
you told me to tell you everything, so i told you about how i used to cage birds and steal their wings because all i've ever wanted to do was fly. i told you about the night that i went from 11 to 30 in fifteen minutes and about how the brick wall i was held up against was the only thing to soften my fall. i whispered about how each star represented a time i've been hurt and about how the man behind my blinds makes me want to peel my skin off. you asked about the girl in the mirror and i told you about all the lies shes fed me over the years. you ended up crying, and i ended up crying. you cried for me because you genuinely cared and i cried for you because i feel so sorry for you having to listen to my bullshit.

WEDNESDAY.
i spilled my guts out again. my knees are scraped and my knuckles are bleeding and food wrappers lay strewn across the floor. maybe it's the under-eating or the fact that my heads been in the toilet for too long, but the room won't stop spinning. i can't remember the last night i've felt like this. my skin feels to tight and its hard just to breathe because i don't want to face this in the morning. so, i guess i'll spend another lonely night on the linoleum floor that's so cold that it could make hell freeze over.

THURSDAY.
i was called a poet today as i was carving sincere stanzas onto my wrists. the blood runs away from me, just like you, and i wish i could run away from myself too. all i've heard today are the choruses of depression and the crunching of egg shells that you always walk on. i want you to tell me why the clocks keep ticking when the flutter in my chest has been dead for so long. you seem to know all the answers.

i'm running out of room, so i guess i'll have to continue my run-on sentences onto my thighs.

FRIDAY.
the rug is littered with old clothes and forgotten memories that you seem to have no problem walking all over. it's been four days since you've been in my bed and i'm using your t-shirt as a restraint jacket. my arms are bruised and the mirror is as shattered as my broken heart. i'm wearing a blindfold because i've cursed my own reflection. i hope you know what it's like to feel ugly all the time.

SATURDAY.
the family is at church again for the fifth weekend in a row. i don't understand how they can talk to something that's not even there. then again, i talked about you and me and futures but i guess those were never there either. today i'm going to carry our scars and kisses in our sleepless nights. i'm going to salvage the strength for one last breathe just so i can tell you that it isn't yours. i'm giving up on myself because you've given up on me and to be quite frank, i'm not afraid to pull the trigger, i'm just afraid that i didn't carve your name deep enough into the bullet.
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Demon-Crazy's avatar
I love your free verses :)
They are so amazing
I think I loved Thursday and the last sentence in Saterday the most.
Im here if you need to talk